Ahh Family times are the best
by Honeybager
Summary: What would happen if Neliel and Nnoitra had children. Nel/Nnoi
1. Daddy whats are whore

Summary: Little Miku decides to ask her daddy a very important question

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach

Warning: has a tiny bit of yaoi

DADDY WHAT'S A WHORE

A little girl with bouncy black hair ran into the living room to ask her daddy a very important question. The moment she entered the room she spotted the tall man sitting on the couch with her mother, and two brothers.

"Hey look its Miku! Hello MIKU!" Her mother called out childishly waving her hand for her to come over. The little girl ran over to her family holding her hands up for her dad to pick her up and place her on his lap.

"Hey princess, what's brought you here?" Nnoitra asked giving his daughter a small kiss on the check. She giggled from the way his beard rubbed against her chin. She looked at her Nnoitra with her big golden eyes and straight forwardly asked

"Daddy what's a whore?" the grin Nnoitra had before suddenly dropped fast and a scowl appeared.

"Where the fuck did you hear that from?"

"Nnoitra fucks a bad word" Nel said flicking her spoon at him.

"Shut up Nel! Did you even fucking hear what she asked me?"

The green haired women shook her head no

"Then shut the.."

"FRONT DOOR!" Nel yelled trying to cover all the children's ears but failing horribly.

"Tch... Where'd you hear that word from princess?" He asked once again getting a little more pissed off.

"Will..."

**FLASHBACK**

*Miku heard strange noises coming from Grimmjow and Ulquiorra bedroom, and went by the room to investigate.

"God Ulquiorra you moan like a $5 whore….it turns me on"

"Mmm. Grimm..*gasp*joww"

A loud moan came from inside the roomthat Miku was standing by. Getting worried that her uncle Grimmy was hurting her uncle Ulqui she rushed to find someone, but got distracted when Ichigo asked her if she wanted some ice cream.

***END OF Flashback***

"and that's where I heard it from daddy so what's a whore."

Nnoitra was beyond pissed when he found out about Grimmjows and Ulquiorra little love episode.

"Will princess a Whore is..."

"Is a lady that gets paid to have fun with other people?" Neliel said interrupting Nnoitra from speaking. The little girl gave her mother a questioning look and with a nod from Nel she jump from her Nnoitras lap and went her way.

"Neliel!" Nnoitra said dangerously low giving off the single that trouble was on the way making the two other children leave the room in a flash.

"Yes my love" Nel said innocently sitting on Nnoitras lap ninja like.

"Don't give me that fucking angel shit you do"

"Hmm I have no idea what you're talking about Nn-oi-tr-a." she huskly whispered into his ear gently biting his ear lobe.

"Neliel…. Get the fuck off…" Nnoitra ordered pushing her off of him

"! I want to make you moan like a $5 whore!" she whinned giving him a teary eyed stare.

"No, no, no you not going to make me moan im going to make you moan"

"hahahahahahahaha nope Nnoi, from what happened last night, I highly doubt it"

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Thats it everyone... hahahaha hope all of you guys like it... If you have any request i will gladly take them


	2. Dear Santa

Dear Santa

Summary: Tushi writes a letter to Santa

Disclaimer: Don't own bleach only my characters

DEAR SANTA

Tushi put his letter into the envelop he was given, and went searching for his childish mother.

"Mom where are you?" He called into the living room

"Here" she called back waving her hand out of office door. He went into the direction the hand was drawn out. He handed her the letter and left the room without saying anything.

"Bye bye Tushiiiii!" She screamed giggling

Nel looked at the letter and began reading it.

_Dear Santa or should I say DAD,_

_I just wanted to tell you that i fucking hate you right now, and that I'm pissed that Santa is not fucking real. I'm even more piss that you think you're so fucking funny by putting coal in my fucking stocking every mother fucking YEAR! Then you think you're even more fucking funny by giving me my gifts the day after fucking Christmas. YOUR A FUCKING DUCHE BAG, and the gifts you give me fucking suck monkey balls._

_A flute! A flute a fucking flute, yea dad I'm going to kick some ass with my flute. You're a fucking ass hole. Your probably wondering how I know Santa's not real because I saw your dumbass self putting all the presents at the bottom of the tree. Really dad Santa's not that tall or skinny, you shit head. Does mom even know Santa's not real? Ahaha cant wait till you explain to her that santa is just some fuck tard that lives in our house….. you're dick face giving your oldest son a fucking flute. I just wanted to tell you dad that I fucking hate you and this stupid ass holiday._

_From Tushi_

_P.S- You should stop using profanity and get me better gifts. Fuck face_

Nel started bursting out laughing, falling on the floor in the process.

"Neliel what the hell are you doing on the floor?" Nnoitra said with an annoyed face seeing his grown wife on the floor laughing.

Neliel didn't say a word to him as she got up and handed him the letter leaving the room laughing. He looked at the letter trying to burn holes into it ,but without a doubt he began reading it. After finishing it a smirked formed on his face as he silently went upstairs to the room of Tushi, opening the door to have Nel skipping right out of the room making him a little a bit worried and scared. He looked to see his soon glare at him. Bending his foot back and bringing it forward so it made contact with the item in between Nnoitra's legs.

"Oww fuck!" He howled as he fell to the ground holding his balls in his palm to ease the pain he felt.

"You little fuck *cough* what the fuck is your problem!' he roared dangerously to meet with the laughter of Nel in the far distance.

"Don't fucking give me that shit1 Your fucked up you know that!." With that he slammed the door in Nnoitra's face leaving the stunned, pissed off man on the floor wondering.

Later that night when Nnoitra recovered from the little incident earlier that day, lying down on his bed he heard the sound of the door opening. He looked up to see Neliel walk into the door with a santa outfit on. Her green hair painted white, a fake beard roomed on her face.

"What the fuck Neliel are you wearing Neliel" He asked a bored expression on his face

"I felt bad for earlier sooooo.. I told Tushi that Santa was coming early" She said lying down on the opposite side of him still in the Santa costume.

"Your not taking it off?"

She started at him with wide eyes "but with if any of the kids come in and see us…."

" NO! You idiot I mean, your not going to take off your suit and go put on something more comfortable?"

"OOO! Hahaha I thought you were trying to sway me into doing the nasty with you" She said giggling, but still not taking off the suit.

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Hope you guys liked it. Im happy to take any request... Please review


	3. Fire truck dog

Summary: The Gilga family goes out on a little road trip

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach

Nnoitra was picking up the kids one day, driving their minivan a fire track had zoomed pass them. The children watch in amazement as the saw a flash of red, and the load noise of the sirens boom past them, and the Dalmatian riding in the front seat. Soon though the peaceful atmosphere ended when almost everyone on the car started aguring about the dog's duties, Nnoitra banged his head into the steering wheel as the discussion got more intense.

"No Kite you idiot they use the dog to keep the crowds of people from getting in the way!." Tushi yelled

"No they don't Tushi they use it for good luck" Kite cried

Miku watched in amassment as her brother kept bickering back and forth about the dog that she felt so smart about the idiotic reponses her brothers were saying that she deiced to to speak.

"Not aww they use the doggy to search for the fire hydrant" She tried to explain

"What? Who told you that?" Both boys said thinking what idiot told their sister such nonsense.

"Mommy did"

Tushi and Kite looked at each other not knowing what to say. They didn't want to say anything wrong and get their daddy upset, or making their mommy seem uneducated. SO they both came up with a response that saved their butts.

" Will what do you say dad? Which one of us is right?"

" Ask your mother when we get home" he signed

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Thanks everyone for reading… To be honest I didn't like this chapter at all but I cant think of anything to write.. So if you have any request at all please do tell me . thank you and see you next time


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